Have you ever stopped in the middle of the Lord’s Prayer and said to yourself. “I can’t do it!” The hurt that you experienced was so deep and so painful that there was no way you could see yourself forgiving the wrong. When you came to the words, “…forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us,” you thought, “There’s no way I can forgive this!”

Maybe you have never had a hurt that went this deep but, you can more than likely sympathize with a father who was part of a group called, “Parents of Murdered Children.” During one meeting when the subject of forgiveness came up he said, “If going to heaven depends on my forgiving the man who killed my daughter, I won’t get there!” His daughter had been stabbed 47 times by a man who had been released from prison after serving 8 years for rape and manslaughter.

Whether it happens to you or to the grieving father, there are times when the old saying may prove all too true, “To err is human, but to forgive is darned near impossible!” Can you relate?

Now, in the midst of the cloud of unforgiveness that we sometimes might experience, the words of Jesus from Mark 11:25 ring in our ears, “Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone; so that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.” Or from Luke 6:37,”…Forgive, and you will be forgiven…”

This is the proverbial, “… between a rock and a hard place.” If you can’t forgive, the Bible says, you can’t be forgiven. Yet the wrong you experienced is so hurtful, there seems to be no way to let it go. We might say that forgiveness is hard to give especially when it’s really needed!

Forgiveness is something all of us struggle with but eventually have to deal with. It is about people who need forgiveness and knows it. It is about people who receive forgiveness and are grateful for it. It is about people who need forgiveness and doesn’t know it. It is about religious people who absolutely, totally miss the point!

There is a story in Luke 7 about forgiveness that helps put it in perspective. All of this takes place at a dinner party at Simon the Pharisee’s house! The guest list does not include the one person who takes the story to the heart of what forgiveness truly means.

Here’s an invitation that must have raised some eyebrows with Jesus’ followers. The Pharisees were certainly not known as great supporters of Jesus. As a matter of fact, the gospel of Mark tells us that the Pharisees had a contract out on Jesus.

There is a critical point here – an instructive point. Jesus will go anywhere to bring the message of God’s Kingdom. A consistent theme in the New Testament has to do with people questioning Jesus’ willingness to go wherever a need exists. Whether it be a Samaritan woman at the well, a Roman centurion whose child is critically ill or a Pharisee who comes to visit at night, Jesus is available wherever there is a need. I think we need to fully understand what Jesus means that somewhere, somehow, we will be uncomfortable in having to associate with someone we would rather avoid. In other words, Jesus is likely to be present wherever there is a need for forgiveness.

There seems to be a built-in aspect of humanity that wants to divide people into opposing camps. We all remember the “in crowd” and the “rest of us” from high school days. We’re all affected by it, even Jesus’ followers. When the Samaritan (the “bad guys”) wouldn’t receive Jesus, James and John suggested a napalm strike. (“Lord do you want us to command fire to come down from heaven and consume them?”)

If you remember the story, Simon’s invitation to Jesus was tainted. When Jesus arrived, He did not offer the traditional amenities like a foot washing, a kiss, and anointing of the head. Jesus was popular with the people but wasn’t accepted by the establishment. Tension is a guarantee and sparks begin to fly the moment Jesus reclines at the table.

The sudden appearance of a “questionable” woman at this dinner party would be highly irregular if it should happen to one of us, but not unusual for the time. Well to do people would have their meals out of doors in the courtyard and when a teacher or rabbi was a guest, all kinds of people would drop by to hear the latest wisdom. It is not the presence, but the action of the woman that heightens the drama.

The woman is a well-known prostitute. No respectable woman would come up behind a man (Jesus would have been reclining at the table with his feet behind Him), interrupt His meal, and touch His feet, much less have her hair unbound so as to dry His feet. But, something incredibly important got to her and compelled her action.

Was it the care in his voice? Had she heard him speak of God’s absolute love and forgiveness? Perhaps she had heard His words just prior to the gathering at Simon’s house, “…. the Son of Man has come eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Look, a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!'” Whatever the specifics of her regeneration of hope, it is clear that the amazing love of God came crashing through her hopelessness and promised a freedom she had never dreamed could happen for her.

No one had to “preach” to this sinful woman into a change of lifestyle. No words of condemnation were needed. When she became aware of the possibility of forgiveness and love, her heart was transformed. She needed forgiveness and she knew it.

Is there a strong message here or what? What is it that gets people close to God? It is the love of God which opens up the heart to spiritual need and love that enables the authentic experience of forgiveness. Unfortunately, however, there are always those who try to kill that hope.

So what does Jesus do? He tells a parable, then points out how a woman who is a total social reject has discovered the meaning of forgiveness and love. Having discovered the depth of God’s forgiving love, she is closer to the heart of God than the religious “pros” gathered at Simon’s table.

Simon is unaware of his need for forgiveness. He is the true definition of “self-righteous”. Since he is not aware of a need for forgiveness, his love is “little”. The woman’s love, however, is “great”.

Here’s the clincher. Who is closer to fulfilling the greatest commandment of all? “…you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.”

Do you see the really important thing here? The woman’s actions are a response to love for the depth of forgiveness she has received as a gift from God. The Pharisee’s actions are intended to “deserve” the favor of God as something earned for “good living”. The woman’s spiritual experience is based on grace and gratitude. Simon’s spiritual experience is based on his own perceived goodness and gain.

Self-sufficiency is a mark of distance from God. The less our awareness of a need for forgiveness, the greater distance we are from forgiveness. Paul called himself the “chief of sinners”; St. Francis of Assisi said, “Nowhere is there a more wretched and miserable sinner than I”; Mother Theresa said, “The more I serve God, the more I am aware of how far I fall short.”

People who need forgiveness, but are unaware of their need, have their eyes focused on others. They highlight the shortcomings of others, but looking outward and not inward, they do not see their own. People who are aware of their need have their eyes focused on God. They do not see their own shortcomings, but looking inward and not outward, they see how far they fall short of all God wants for them.

Simon the Pharisee looks at the woman who crashed their dinner party and sees one who is unacceptable – literally “untouchable”. In their religious piety, those who see themselves as true worshipers and servants of God, miss the point altogether. Here is one who rejoices in God’s forgiveness and love and how do they respond? The Pharisees recoil. The marks of their religion do not include, joy, passion, feeling and “great” love.

Finally, the whole table is filled with conversation about the audacity of the teacher from Nazareth who pronounces “forgiveness of sins.” Nowhere in the lives of Simon and his guests is there a single word of concern or even interest in the woman who has found love, acceptance, and forgiveness.

This story is one more example of how Christianity is more about a relationship with God than it is a religion about God! Jesus takes the Good News of the kingdom of God to the surrounding territory. Who accompanies Jesus on this critical journey? Fishermen, tax-collectors, demoniacs and an assortment of women who help finance the young carpenter’s mission. None of them will likely ever be invited to Simon’s house again!

Try to imagine yourself at Simon’s dinner party. What would be your reaction to the woman’s interruption? Would you be upset or would you be compassionate and understanding?

Forgiveness begins when we look at God’s forgiveness of us. Simon couldn’t see his need and look on the woman with disdain. Jesus looked at her and said, “Your sins are forgiven, your faith has saved you, go in peace.”

Forgiveness is one of the most difficult things we can do as human beings, but the power that is expressed in it is immeasurable. In the past few years, I have spent much time studying and teaching on the spiritual disciplines. One of those disciplines is “confession”. Esther shared how confession worked at the Freedom House and people were brought to their knees and the power of God was displayed. Changed hearts and changed lives.

Are there people who need your forgiveness or are there others whom you need to forgive? Regardless, this example Jesus set for us is high. But as high as it is, Scripture is clear that forgiveness is not an option for those who call Christ Lord. When we forgive, we love.