As Canadians, we often mock our neighbours to the South for how partisan and polarized their politics are when in reality our own nation is often divided by the same sentiments and practices. The rhetoric between the “right” and the “left”, the governing party and the opposition, are the same regardless of which nation you live in.

In my almost fifty-six years in this world, I have seen how vicious and personal the trash talk has reached. No matter what your political persuasion, I think you would agree that the political environment has become increasingly toxic.

We now live in a culture where verbal attacks seems the order of the day. We have lost our sense of civility and ability to dialogue. The media ruthlessly exploits people all in the name of “selling a story”. We casually throw around labels like “hate” and “bigotry,” and in doing so, lessen the significance of their original meaning.

With the advent of technology, it has made it easier for people to be vicious toward one another. Because now you can hide behind a screen and in some cases a wall of anonymity, people will say things in an e-mail or on Twitter that they would never dream of saying in person. Even the church is not immune to such behaviour. Pastors know this reality all too well.

What stands Christians apart from the world is what Jesus said in John 13:35, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” But how is this love expressed? I think the word “love” has lost a lot of its meaning over the years. We are so casual with it describing our affection for things like food, cars, movies and such. I think it is time to relook at what it means and how it translates into our relationships.

When you read the Bible, especially Paul’s letters, one phrase stands out more than any other. That is the two-word phrase, “one another.” We are commanded to pray for one another, love one another, care for one another, be hospitable to one another and the list goes on and on. I believe we are commanded fifty-six different times using this phrase. When practiced, can help us shine the light and love of God to a culture that is in dire need of grace and kindness.

Many of you are aware that I love working with wood. Now, I am not a skilled finishing carpenter nor am I able to make fine furniture yet, but I can make the things I need. What they lack in aesthetics, they make up for in functionality. In the beginning, it was trial by error. Sometimes mistakes were made and some projects need to be redone, but over time, my skills have improved. There are fewer miscuts and less firewood produced. But, like my woodworking, loving one another, requires practice.

It takes time and focus to improve. It is not something that comes naturally nor is learned by osmosis. So what does this love look like? In Romans 12:10, Paul says, “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honour one another above yourselves.”

Churches and most Christian organizations are focused on tasks. But we are not only called to be devoted to our mission, we are first commanded to be devoted to God and one another. That means that the people I preach to are not just volunteers for the church’s mission, but they are family. And just like we do not get to choose our earthly family, we do not get to choose who God puts in our spiritual family called the church. Being devoted to the people in the church is messy and often frustrating. But they are the sheep God has entrusted to us and they are worthy of our devotion.

As we develop a culture of honour, we are to be more personal than transactional. In other words, I value the people in my church as unique individuals who are created in the image of God and who matter greatly to God. They have an intrinsic worth that is based not on what they do, rather it is based on who they are.

People have a very fine-tuned antenna… they can tell whether or not we have a genuine interest in them (personal) or whether we simply want something from them (transactional). If we see people as a means to an end then we have lost what it means to be a shepherd. We are not “saved to serve,” rather we are saved to God, brought into a relationship with each other and finally sent out by Him.

A culture of honour is always marked by “brotherly love”. It seems to me that these days we are obsessed with leadership and growth. The danger is that we can make an idol out of leadership and vision. But in John 13, Jesus did not say “by this will all men know that you are my disciples…if you are really good leaders”  or “all men will know you are my disciples… if you have a great ministry plan or awesome vision statement”. The one thing Jesus gave the world the right to judge us by was how well we love one another.

It is helpful for me to regularly be reminded that the Bible has far more to say about love than it does leadership. Jesus’ ministry was focused on people. Was there a task? Of course there was, but He always took time to honour and care for those whom society had cast aside.

Paul ends Romans 12:10 with the challenge to honour one another above yourselves. I love that word “honour”. But what does it look like to “honour” one another above ourselves? One translation of this phrase in Romans 12:10 is “lead the way in honouring others above yourself”. One scholar translated this phrase “try to outdo one another in showing honour”.

That is just the opposite of our normal competitive spirit. Our human nature competes to show we are the best. When we compete, it is usually about us. but Paul says, “if you want to compete, be competitive in showing honour to others” Imagine what the church would look like if we lived our lives with that purpose? Imagine how transformational that would be for society?

In the last few months, there is a verse that I just cannot get off of my mind. It is in the book of Titus and Paul talks about us “making the gospel attractive”. When we treat people with dignity we make the gospel attractive. When we truly love people we make the gospel attractive. And when we use words of honour, we make the gospel attractive.

Our role in the world is not primarily to change society. We live in the midst of a divided society where verbal assassination seems to be the order of the day. But as disciples, followers of Jesus, we have the incredible privilege of modelling a different way by showing honour to one another.